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We may steer away from intimacy, because it stirs up old feelings of hurt, loss, anger or rejection. Pat Love said in an interview with Psych Alive, “when you long for something, like love, it becomes associated with pain,” the pain you felt at not having it in the past. We have trouble feeling our own value and believing anyone could really care for us.
We all have a “critical inner voice,” which acts like a cruel coach inside our heads that tells us we are worthless or undeserving of happiness.
You have put a lot of love into all of that, including self-respect, and you’ve set a wonderful example for your daughters.
I’d like to challenge the concept of romantic love as if it’s some sort of test we need to pass to make a success of our lives.
If and when people do start dating, the early stages can present them with endless worries: “Does he/she really like me? In fact, as things get closer between a couple, anxiety can get even more intense. How can we keep our anxiety in check and allow ourselves to be vulnerable to someone we love?